Why Can’t I Find Easter on the Utah Parent Time Schedule?

 Easter is coming and if you are trying to find out who gets the kids for the Easter holiday you will need to keep looking.  The statute doesn’t discuss the Easter holiday at all.   The Easter holiday is treated just like any other weekend.   In some school districts, Easter falls during Spring Break. Utah statue says the noncustodial parent gets spring break in odd years and the custodial parent gets it in even years. If Easter isn’t during Spring Break, then the parent who has the children that weekend for the normal rotation would have the children.

Of course, you and your co-parent are able to decide on a different schedule or arrangement, if you prefer.   It is smart to get any agreement in writing to protect yourself and make sure the arrangements are clear.

Happy Easter!

How to Communicate with the Other Party in a Divorce

When you are going through a divorce, and after it is over, there may be hard feelings.  It is important to maintain civil communications at all times for several reasons.

1)      If you have children you should never involve them in the divorce process.  Children should never hear you or their other parent demean, belittle or criticize the other parent.  Commissioners and Judges are very adamant that all communication about and to the other party in front of the children be completely respectful.

2)      During the divorce process, if you have an attorney, use your attorney to communicate with the other party about particularly difficult topics.

3)      When communicating by text, email or phone, it is important to keep records of what is said or written as it may be important to your case.  If possible, have a written record so that an accurate record of what was said and what was agreed to.  There are tools for printing text messages.  It is a good idea to keep a communication log.

4)      If you find yourself exchanging unpleasant e-mails or text message with the other party, you might want to have someone you trust review your e-mails and texts before you send them.  Before you send something, it might be valuable to imagine what your response would be if you received the message you are sending.

My child's parent and I have split . . . what do I do?

A paternity action is similar to a divorce when the parents of a child split up but they were never legally married.  A paternity order is needed to address custody, parent time, child support, and other issues.  A paternity order may seem unimportant when the parties are getting along, however, if the relationship breaks down it will become very important, very quickly.    Without an Order, the parties have equal access to the children. Either party can keep the children from the other party and there is very little to be done without an order signed by a judge.  

A paternity action is started by filing a Petition. The opposing party then files an Answer. The parties are typically required to attend mediation.  Mediation is a great place for the parties to try and solve their issues on their own. 

When the parties are getting along they may be able to craft an agreement which can be turned into a court order than explains how they want their co-parenting relationship to be designed.  An order crafted by the parties is almost always preferable to an order handed down by the judge because the parties will know the intricacies of their situation, their children and their schedule.   A paternity order should address things like child custody (both legal and physical), parent time, holidays, child support and tax deductions. 

Parent Coordinators

Utah law allows a judge to appoint a parent coordinator to help parents work together at co-parenting their children.  Parent coordinators make recommendations to the parents regarding a variety of common co-parenting issues such as communicating with each other, resolving conflicts, coordinating schedules, selecting schools and day care, and determining participation in sports and other activities.  This is just a partial list.  For a more comprehensive list of the issues parent coordinators can help with you can review the actual rule at http://www.utcourts.gov/resources/rules/ucja/ch04/4-509.htm

Parents do have to pay for this service, but for parents who are spending a lot of time (and money) in court trying to resolve co-parenting issues a parent coordinator is a less expensive and more efficient alternative. 

Legal and Physical Custody

There are two types of child custody -- legal and physical.  Legal custody is the right to make legal decisions about and on behalf of your children.  For example, a parent with legal custody can decide where the children will go to school or which doctor they will see.  Physical custody is the right to have your children live primarily with you.

Divorced parents can have sole or joint legal custody of their children.  Sole legal custody means that one parent has all the rights to make decisions about and on behalf of the child.  Joint legal custody means the parents must work together to make decisions about the child. If parents have joint legal custody they are required to have a parenting plan.  A good parenting plan will explain the process parents should use to make decisions together. 

Divorced parents can also have sole or joint physical custody of their children.  In Utah, whether a physical custody arrangement is a sole or joint one is determined by how many overnights the child spends with each parent. When a child spends more than 110 nights with the noncustodial parent, the parents are considered to have joint physical custody.

Divorced parents must decide, or have the court decide, who will have both physical and legal custody of their children.  Parents can choose to have joint or sole custody legal and physical of their children.  It is not uncommon for the parents to have joint legal but with one of the parents having sole physical custody.