When you are going through a divorce, and after it is over, there may be hard feelings. It is important to maintain civil communications at all times for several reasons.
1) If you have children you should never involve them in the divorce process. Children should never hear you or their other parent demean, belittle or criticize the other parent. Commissioners and Judges are very adamant that all communication about and to the other party in front of the children be completely respectful.
2) During the divorce process, if you have an attorney, use your attorney to communicate with the other party about particularly difficult topics.
3) When communicating by text, email or phone, it is important to keep records of what is said or written as it may be important to your case. If possible, have a written record so that an accurate record of what was said and what was agreed to. There are tools for printing text messages. It is a good idea to keep a communication log.
4) If you find yourself exchanging unpleasant e-mails or text message with the other party, you might want to have someone you trust review your e-mails and texts before you send them. Before you send something, it might be valuable to imagine what your response would be if you received the message you are sending.
A thought for all you co-parents out there . . .
“Now she knew what divorce really was: Sharing decisions with a person you would run down on the street.”
Judy Blundell
My child's parent and I have split . . . what do I do?
A paternity action is similar to a divorce when the parents of a child split up but they were never legally married. A paternity order is needed to address custody, parent time, child support, and other issues. A paternity order may seem unimportant when the parties are getting along, however, if the relationship breaks down it will become very important, very quickly. Without an Order, the parties have equal access to the children. Either party can keep the children from the other party and there is very little to be done without an order signed by a judge.
A paternity action is started by filing a Petition. The opposing party then files an Answer. The parties are typically required to attend mediation. Mediation is a great place for the parties to try and solve their issues on their own.
When the parties are getting along they may be able to craft an agreement which can be turned into a court order than explains how they want their co-parenting relationship to be designed. An order crafted by the parties is almost always preferable to an order handed down by the judge because the parties will know the intricacies of their situation, their children and their schedule. A paternity order should address things like child custody (both legal and physical), parent time, holidays, child support and tax deductions.